I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize