I'm really into asian looking animals
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I need a burrito and a hug.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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