We need to rekindle our bromance
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
