she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
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People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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