the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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