I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Buhtt sex?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
the liver wants what the liver wants
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
