Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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