Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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