Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The adults are the big ones right?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
