Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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