Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize