Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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