You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
