A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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