I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
