i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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