I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
