the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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