I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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