when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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