What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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