i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
