problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
