So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
