You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
