porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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