Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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