btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
