k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
