we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
