I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize