I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
