so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
