think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
