I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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