I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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