I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize