I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
When are your genitals available?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
