1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
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she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
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Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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