how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
