I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize