If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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