Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dick very happy bro
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
