I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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