I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
