is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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