I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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