the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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