No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
