I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
