don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
