Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
