Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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