and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
