Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
