I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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