Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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