He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
