To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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